Your no. 1 mantra, Always Assume Positive Intent (AAPI), is the single most powerful shift you can make in any disagreement. It’s not just a nice thought; it’s a radical, practical strategy for conflict resolution.

Here is why AAPI is your ultimate conflict cheat code.

1. It Kills the Ego Reaction

Conflict thrives on perceived malice. When someone misses a deadline, cancels a meeting, or sends a curt email, your brain immediately screams, They don’t respect me. That’s an ego reaction, and it turns a business problem into a personal attack.

AAPI overrides this. By assuming the positive (a deadline was missed because of a family emergency, not laziness; the email was short due to a frantic schedule, not contempt), you starve your ego. You shift from “They attacked me” to “What is the actual problem we need to solve?”

2. It Replaces Why with How

When you assume negative intent, your questions are accusatory: Why did you do this to me? Why didn’t you try harder?

When you assume positive intent, your questions become collaborative: How can we prevent this from happening next time? How can I support you in completing this?

This reframing moves the conversation out of the past (blame) and directly into the future (solution). It makes you a partner, not an adversary.

3. You Win, Even When You’re Wrong

The best part? You don’t have to be right about the other person’s intent.

Whether they were genuinely trying their best or were simply negligent, assuming positive intent is a tool for your own mind. It keeps you calm, professional, and centered, allowing you to deliver a productive solution instead of a damaging outburst.

You control your reaction. You own the high road. AAPI isn’t a strategy for them; it’s a guaranteed win for you.

Give the benefit of the doubt first. It costs you nothing and buys you instant, clear-headed authority in any difficult conversation.